Monday, November 23, 2009

Confessions

Every now and again, it just feels good to get some things off your chest, so your heart can beat freely. They might not look like much to someone else, but these things plague me.

-I tell people what they want to hear, because I feel responsible for their happiness.

-When my Dad wasn't around, all I wanted was for him to be in my life.

-Now that my Dad is in my life, I hate when he calls drunk. It hurts so much to know how depressed he is, but I can't fix him. I can't.

-I don't want to have children. Ever. I really don't think I'm going to change my mind, and I hate how people make me feel like there's something wrong with me because of that.

-My husband used to say he never wanted kids, but every now and again he talks like he's changed his mind. I'm afraid he'll be disappointed if I don't change my mind.

-I catch people at work and church glancing at my black finger nails. It kind of makes me feel like a rebel, and I think that's ridiculous.

-I hate that I feel attached to my maiden name. I double barreled mainly because I couldn't bear to let my father's name go, though I tell people it's for other reasons.

-I have never once really felt pretty. Ever.

Inspired by the oh, so lovely Jamie. Thanks, lady. I feel better now.


4 comments:

  1. Oh love!! I love your rebelious black fingernails - with any luck I'm gonna paint mine tonight (just in time to meet the future in-laws).

    You're beautiful - don't forget that!

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  2. It's good to get things off your chest. I feel just saying it or writing it helps release some of the tension it has built up. Good for you girl for saying it.

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  3. I think you're VERY pretty! You should feel pretty too!

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  4. I'm with you on how the confessions make you feel better once you get them out!

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