Thursday, March 12, 2009

List Lust VII

Obviously, that last post left out some important details. In honor of the List Lust that I would like to have written, I think I'll just go ahead and list the facts. The terribly creepy, disgruntling facts.

Initially, we thought perhaps these things were all separate issues, but now we know otherwise.

1.) For about a week and a half now, Todd and I have been arguing over who is leaving the back door unlocked/not completely latched. Like a good gust of wind blows, and the door is standing open. You have to kind of slam it, and finagle to get the dead bolt locked.

2.) In the last three days I've come home to the door either standing open or the handle is locked, but the door is not shut all the way. To the untrained eye, it appears to be shut, but it's ghetto. The door way swells, making it less than incredibly easy to shut it.

3.) As of late, my living room smells of earthy strangeness. Todd and I have been burning candles and incense, climbing under the house to see if there are rodents in the ventilation system. Something is making my house smell, well, a little less like hazelnut cream, and a little more "mossy".

4.) My poor Kimchi Kitty has been getting sick as of late. Like, not normal. Sometimes he eats too much, and I find wee piles of already loved kitty kibble, but this is different. His tummy is obviously upset.

5.) Once or twice I've come home to find the kitchen door open, which is NOT okay. We ALWAYS shut it. We installed it to keep the birds safe from the kitty, when we're not home.

6.)Yesterday, I got up about 20 minutes after Todd left for work. I went in the laundry room to grab my clean clothes, and found the back door not shut all the way. It looked shut, but it was not. Only the handle was locked.

So, I called Todd.

Me: Honey, did you go out the back door this morning?
Todd: Nope, and I dead bolted it.
Me: Obviously not. It was not dead bolted. Nor was it latched shut.
Todd: I checked it three times! Did you go out it for anything?!
Me: No. I was getting clean clothes and saw it wasn't shut all the way.
Todd: Someone has a key.
Me: What?!

What does that mean, friends? That means that someone has a key to unlock my deadbolt. It also means that they have no problems coming in the house WHILE I AM STILL SLEEPING/IN THE SHOWER.

I quickly got dressed in the privacy of a locked bathroom, and left for work. I checked our hide-a-key, and sure enough, it was gone. I vowed not to enter this home until we had replaced the locks, so Todd got on that.

We now have new locks and deadbolts, and a hidden camera to see who attempts to get in. Muahahaha. Plus, I'm hiding here today. Jeep's hidden in the back. I hope to God we catch them. We have an idea as to who it might be, but we don't want to point any fingers. We could be wrong, but someone has been coming in.

My bet, is that it's a teenager. Coming in with our spare keys. Smoking a little pot(thinking we don't know what it smells like). Watching some tele. Playing some PlayStation. Just to have a getaway. Punk probably thinks it's not that big a deal. Thinks it's not hurting anything/one. So, I'm not expecting the culprit until after school.

However, the teenager theory doesn't explain coming in while I'm sleeping. My Jeep was outside! They knew I was here. It's really my most hoped for scenario. I'm not afraid of this kid. I want to catch the punk, call the cops, and do a little life threatening. Then I'll be good.

If it's not the teenager? I'm not even going to think about it. Right now, I'm thinking we've got new locks. No one can get in. I'm in here with my kitty(who hasn't been sick) and my Louisville Slugger close at hand.

If I hear someone trying the back door? Say "Hello" to my little friend. I am going to dent their frickin' head in. I am so mad that someone would invade our privacy like this. SO MAD.

Oh, and working for a non profit teen shelter, I've heard all the creepy stories why teenage boys might enter your home. Let's just say that I've washed all my undergarments. *cringe* *shutter*


  1. First off, I love your tags! "HOUSE BREAKER INNER PERSON BEWARE" *hahaha*

    But really, this is not funny AT ALL! I can't imagine how vulnerable you feel! Not only would I want the locks changed, I'd want the house SEARCHED! I wouldn't be able to shake the creepy feeling.

    Do you think it could be a homeless person? Coming in to get warm? I can't think of ANY other scenario...even the teenager one. Although teens continue to prove that they're more stupid than I ever thought possible, but still!! That's just beyond nuts!

  2. O_O scary!!! homg good thing you got your locks changed!

  3. The whole thing is just weird! I would've expected something to have been stolen. I hope that the whole thing is resolved really soon!

  4. I would have expected them to at least eat your food. That's so psycho. Good idea on the security camera. That'll learn 'em. Maybe not quite as effectively as the bat will, but it'll learn 'em, too.

  5. this is all so creepy! and weird! who does that?!

  6. Sarah - ^__^It's pretty darn creepy. I keep being paranoid that someone can see me. So I'm extra cautious. It sucks. I so hope we catch them trying to get in on tape.

    I really don't think it's a homeless person. Those are few and far between here. We live in the sticks, seriously. And it's not too cold.

    Girl Anachronism - Me too. I could NOT have slept last night had we not.

    Astharis - That's why I think it's some kid we know. Not a meth head trying to get stuff to hawk. Me too. Thanks!

    Apollo - I would too, but we don't keep much in the house. Fruit and stuff is about it. Not a whole lot to tantalize the munchies.

    I SO hope we catch 'em on tape. If I don't have to beat anyone up-I'll be very happy, but if I have to? I'm ready.

    Ari- I know! It makes me want to sell our house and move, but then I get even madder that they're making me feel that way. Grrr.

  7. God that is so scary. Please be careful and call the cops right away if someone tries to get in.

  8. That is crazy creepy. Let us know how it goes.

  9. THAT IS SHIT SCARY! I'm a big baby so I wouls have totally freaked out!

    I hope changing the locks work!

  10. I have an award for you over at my blog <3

  11. Stephanie - Don't you fret none, little lady. I WILL!

    Gnomespeak - Nothing so far. I'm pretty sure the culprit saw us change the locks, but we're still keeping an eye out.

    SleepyJane - It's definitely alarming. We're hoping it did the trick.

    Shannon - Thank you!! ^_^


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