Thursday, August 7, 2008

Swing Away

Television is a one-eyed monster that will inevitably suck your brain out through your eyeballs. This has been my stance on the subject for quite a while now. I have a tendency to find most everything on television unworthy of my attention. We just don't watch much of it at my house, and that's just peachy with me.

Well, now I have apparently developed an unhealthy relationship with the crime channel, or whatever the heck it is. All those shows about deranged killers and psychopaths. You know the one.

It all started with severe cramps. I was dying on Monday and deemed it a sick day. I rolled out of bed around 10:30, got the heating pad, blanket, GINORMOUS glass of ice water, ibuprofen, one emergency loritab, my current book endeavor and headed for the futon. This would be my place of residence for the duration.

Reading was giving me a headache. So, I flipped on the TV. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Spongebob? No. Animal Planet. There you go. I watched some blue planet thing until a whale beached itself. I cried for the next 30 minutes and swore off Animal Planet.

I finally ended up watching some documentary type thing on this creepy Green River killer dude. Creepy. Unsettling. I want to change the channel, but I can't. It's riveting. Did he get caught? Is he EVER getting out? Who survived and how?

Show after show it's the same stuff. This guy murdered these people because of this. This group of morons got together and killed the whole neighborhood. There are too many evil people out there to comprehend, and you're basically a sitting duck.

Great! So, maybe via this strange interest I have developed, I'll avoid any demon spawn that may be in the vicinity. I don't know. What I do know is that my husband leaves the closet door cracked just a tad every morning, and when I step out of the shower it's the first thing I see.

I now have my Louisville Slugger hidden by the shower curtain.


  1. i'm obsessive with those shows too! the worst is that I watch them late at night and get creeped out when I take Matthias out for last call all by myself...

  2. What is it about those shows? I always have to watch too and it never fails to make me paranoid for the next week.

  3. My husband read this post and shut the closet door this morning. ^__^

    Still, I'm keeping the baseball bat nearby.

  4. There is another Blue Planet scene in which a group of orcas separate a baby whale from its mother, kill it... then leave without even eating it. It puts me in a horrible mood, but I still love all the BBC nature documentaries.

    I hardly watch any TV anymore, but when we had satellite, I just couldn't get into the crime channel. It was all Animal Planet and Food Network.

  5. Cody- I'm all about some Ace of Cakes and practically anything on Animal Planet.

    If I'm hormonal, which I've tried desperately to deny EVER being AT ANY POINT IN MY LIFE, I just can't handle watching innocent critters deal with harsh reality.

    Why I can watch people being tortured, I'm still trying to figure out.

  6. Ooooh! I used to read this one website all about infamous murders when I was at work and bored because I figured that even if I was websurfing at work, at least I could claim it was educational and that I was making the world a safer place by knowing how to protect myself, even though I just found it interesting, but wasn't the gree river killer the one where it was two cousins and they weren't sure that it was actually them?

  7. Captain Steve- The Green River killer was the rapist/murderer that lured women into the woods-mostly prostitutes and runaway teens-then weighted their bodies down with rocks in the river. He was a real sicko.

    He led the investigators to like 40 something bodies, and those were besides the 30 something they'd already known about!

    I don't know who the cousin guy was-Son of Sam maybe? There were apparently a few of them, but they only caught one guy. The one that said the dog was posessed by demons and telling him to kill people.

    Obsessed?! Me?


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