Friday, June 20, 2008

Colonel Sanders Mouthing His Silent Fury

Let me start out by saying that I got my driver's license when I was 17. I only missed one question. Therefore I have been successfully traveling to and from the places I need to go for 8 years. I am a cautious, but relaxed vehicle operator. I use my signals. I drive too fast. I consider most Alabama drivers inept. With that said I will continue...(I know. C'mon. C'mon. Get it on. Get it over with.)

I was about 10 minutes from work yesterday morning when I noticed a little old guy in a red sports car behind me. I'm sure it was a miata, cause it was tiny, and he was old. I observed, in my rear-view mirror, that this gentleman favored Colonel Sanders. I smiled to myself, flipped my turn signal on, and pulled into the turning lane at a red light. After sitting a spell, the light changed and I began to inch forward. I had an arrow to turn, but oncoming traffic wasn't slowing down. So I did inch, took my time, but I was going.

Well, happy pants Colonel Sanders back there proceeded to lay on his horn, which scared me spitless. He was also waving his hands in the air like he was landing a plane, and from what I could tell, shouting furiously. When the car that about ran the red light came to a screeching halt. I went on about my business.I continued to work with a smile, but watched cautiously as this little man got redder and redder. Old dude followed me to work, on my bumper the entire way, waving his wittle arms and mouthing his silent fury. He almost ran into me as I braked for a chipmunk on the side of the road.

I thought about letting him run his little sporty sardine can up under my 4x4 Jeep. I thought about waving and smiling. Thinking I'd rather not send him into a massive coronary, I just turned on my signal and into my parking lot. I laughed half the morning thinking about his little arms and red face behind those whiter-than-snow eyebrows. Maybe I did something before I noticed he was behind me. Maybe he detested my: Beatles, Sublime, Weezer, MAC, Hip-Hop(hippo and bunny) or Snoopy window decals. I don't know. So I probably made him late to the VFW. Geesh! It's not THAT BIG A DEAL MAN. I just wish people would relax a little.


  1. Maybe its just that you're a lot nicer than me but when that happens, I slow down to a crawl.....people like that just need to stop and smell the roses once in a while

  2. Seriously, when you're that old, what could possibly make you in such a hurry?

  3. Ari- Oh, I went the speed limit all the way from the red light. A whopping 25mph. :D

    Matt- I'm thinking readily available alcohol, and possibly old chicks, at the V.F.W.


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